“We’re a throw away society. We’re a disposable society. We don’t wanna see the problem. We want everything to be ok and happy, and there’s a disconnect there. It’s because you have to experience something for yourself to know the struggle. And Americans also have a major disconnect between rich people and poor people. We’ve changed in the last couple months. People have gotten colder. Now, with masks and shit, since they don’t have to talk to you, they just turn the other way and don’t acknowledge your existence that much more.
To me, I believe in God, free will, and loving each other, and uh, it hurts man. It hurts when you got a heart and you know your good side, and people treat you like trash. There are good people out there, but so few. I’d say 2 in a hundred. When you see the statistics, it makes it hard to live. Hard to go on- contemplating suicide and stuff like that.
You really see how ugly this world can be, being homeless. People, they laugh at you sometimes. They assume that, cause you’re asking for money, you want money for drugs or something like that. You don’t have to give me anything, you don’t even have to acknowledge that I exist, but why you gotta laugh. Why they gotta be mean. These people that have good jobs sometimes are the meanest. I don’t know the disconnect, but this is the problem and the question that America needs to start asking if they care at all: is there any heart left in this world at all? I gotta be honest with you, I don’t know if there is. There’s some people who have a heart and you can see in their eyes they’re good, but this is a mad world homie.
Home means not getting my stuff stolen right now. Home means getting in some program. I don’t have a concept of home because I got nowhere to go. It’s a really empty feeling. Home means finding a place to sleep and not getting my stuff stolen at night.
Here’s the bad part: There’s nowhere to sit. Every time you sit somewhere, they ask you to move. Could you imagine what that does to you psychologically. Every time, pushed, pushed, pushed out.
People say go to the homeless shelter, but they don’t realize what that means. They don’t realize you need money for a bus pass, you gotta assume it’s not full, you can’t get your stuff stolen, you got no money. It’s easy to say ‘here’s the resources’, but… come on.
I don’t mean to get biblical on you, but a ‘man of god’, he takes your hand and he walks with you and shows you where the water is. He doesn’t tell you that a drink is around the corner, he walks with you. But that ain’t what our system offers. They give you vague instructions, and leave you to fend for yourself. Then blame you for not making it work.
I see all of it everyday. Here’s the worst part – the stuff I see at nighttime, when nobody’s looking, is as evil as it gets, and to not have a home and to have to sleep knowing this is happening right around the corner, is real difficult. I mean, I see armed robberies, murders, people robbing old ladies. It’s as bad as it gets. They have no heart. They’re happy to do it. Real evil. I can decipher those are desperate from those who brag about how much evil they can do. Then you gotta think about, when you go to sleep, that those people are all around. You gotta experience it to know what it’s like, but I hope you never have to. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone.”